What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
