Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
