You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
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