What did we do last night that was yellow?
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Randomize
