Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
