She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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