She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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