i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
