Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
