so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
