Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Randomize
