please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
