Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
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