everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
