sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
