When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
smell my finger.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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