I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
