My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
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