There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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