And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
And then my night got REAL pukey
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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