I think my fart just growled at me.
Welp...herpes.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
