you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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