I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
