I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Randomize
