I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
