my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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