i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
and she was petting her beer can
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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