Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
