Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I know her cup size but not her name....
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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