C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
