your room smells of hookers.
And success
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
