3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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