Do you still have your period?
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
