omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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