Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
