You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
foreskin is a definite game changer
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
