it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
We named our party play list daddy issues
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Randomize
