I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
