Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
