i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
