I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
the night ended with taco bell and tears
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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