I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
send nudes
from the living room?
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
