Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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