I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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