Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
I want to have your abortion
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize