You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
