I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
i think i have herpe
just one?
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
