I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize
