So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
