Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
