Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Randomize
