so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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