i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
worst night to have a conscience
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Randomize
