i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
