at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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