Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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