How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
