Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Randomize