I like my sex mixed with concussions.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
