cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
How does it feel to date your dad?
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
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