If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
