He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
