I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Randomize
