Kareoke will never be a sober sport
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
