my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
