she takes plan B like it's going out of style
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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