Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
