I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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