wakey wakey hands off snakey
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize
