can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize