can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
