I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
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