i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
