i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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