she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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