the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
