Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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