just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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