his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
