my vag is so smooth its legendary
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
