when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Randomize