Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize