I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
