Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
