god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
