I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I'm at about main and main street
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
