Heybabeimwearingurpanties
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize