Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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