We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
The Olympian is in my bed
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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